The things in my head

how to not get scared?

Thunder crashes

Cars crash

But it’s not that big of a deal. This is all in my head

I can feel the electricity coursing through my veins and burning me alive

but it’s not real

Spiders

Those are real

But it’s just air currents brushing your skin not spider feet

legs getting crushed while the sound of metal scraping and bending breaks your ears in half.

I can feel the blood running down my face and can smell the smoke

But I’m just making it up

Who can say what’s real

And what seems so real that you can smell it, taste it, we even cry about it but when we wake up all we see is the dark ceiling of our room where it’s always been

Wind

Spider webs brushing on your face

I tried to tell myself it was real, he loved me u til I found out he never did

He never thought about me outside of being forced to be around me

But things in your head are real

They are real for you

I know you want to hear how to face these fears

How to shut the voice in your head up

How to wake up from that dream

But the truth is

Fear is real

But realizing what you’re afraid of might not be real is the key to making something out of it

There’s a star

We could catch it

But it’s so high

What if climb a tree then we could catch all the stars

My little nephew sees the world

He hasn’t been crushed by the fist of reality

His dreams are bigger than a 4.0 or getting that boy to look at you

He wants to catch the stars

Be strong

You can do hard things

You can be whoever you want

But what about when things get hard

Why are we so afraid to

B R E A K?

It’s ok not to be perfect and if you hold yourself to being perfect, the only thing your going to get is disappointment.

Be you

All of you… even the broken parts

Blood keeps us alive. It pumps through our veins providing nutrients to every part of our body.

It heals broken down muscles and makes scabs when you fall and scrape your knee.

The constant beating of our hearts tells us we are alive and comforts our fears of fainting when we see that cute boy walking down the hallway.

But have you ever thought that with every beat of your heart, you are getting closer to death?

Pump

Pump

Pu

mp.

nature is calm. Time is endless and to do lists are things of fiction. We as humans are too caught up in moving.

We’re always rushing to the next thing.

The next appointment, the next event, or even the next moment like this one doesn’t matter.

The human race is always in a race; minds switched off to everything around them. We run around with mirrors surrounding us, only caring about the three feet closest to us. Why do we care about what others think when all they see is themselves reflected back at them. Everyone is so focused on what others think about them, they don’t even have time to judge the people whose opinions matter so much.

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Think about how much we miss.

– rainbows

– sunrises

– talking to that old lady that lives across the street and has more stories than Netflix.

– your little brothers dance moves

I don’t know the perfect solution. Getting rid of to do lists is impractical and time won’t freeze for us to enjoy these magical moments.

But every once in a while, we could

S

L

O

W

D

O

W

N

Watch the beauty around us, smile at that person walking by we don’t know, or jump on the tramp- just to be reminded that the force of gravity hasn’t disappeared just because we became an adult.

Put the phones down, tear up the to do list, and pay attention to those moments that will sneak by if you don’t.

SEE THE WORLD.

stop.

stop waiting

for the perfect person

the perfect day

the perfect reason.

NOW

do it

go for it

twenty seconds of insane courage can make all the difference

tomorrow

you will wish you did it today

— couchjaxx

hats cover who we are

or the part of us we want to hide from everyone else

the weird habits

the things we aren’t proud of

why do you think we try SO hard to impress people we are probably never going to see again

why do we do that?

why don’t we just be ourselves?

because we know that everyone would know that we aren’t perfect

BUT NO ONE IS

so dance in your pajamas

brag about your good test score

say that joke you held in

wear that hat

even if people laugh because their laughs are only the cries of jealousy.

— couchjaxx

The crippling fear of being “boring” sticks in my mind like an old piece of gum, black from the soles of muddy shoes, stuck to the sidewalk. I fear to become the adult who would rather walk than run or who passes up the opportunity to jump on the tramp because they might break a fragile bone.

Instead, I live in denial. I skip when others walk, I dance in the kitchen, and I jump on the tramp doing flips just to prove I can. 

Being seventeen, I’ve watched as my four older siblings have grown to this stage. As young kids they used the word “yes” instead of “no,” and more often than not their voices rung, “mark, get set, go!” starting the fun. 

During the summer we biked to the famous fishing pond, my brother on the hunt for fish, my sister and I searching for hairy moss. Jumping in the boat for one, we would watch him fish, amazed by his skill of catching moss -totally unaware that he was getting more baffled with every cast.  Sitting by the pond for hours on end, just to realize at the end of the summer that there were no fish, to begin with, but it was fine because time seemed to freeze and moments lasted lifetimes.

As each sibling got married we added another member to the family. We still laugh and joke, but adult bellows ring through the house instead of the childish giggles. Now the word “no” is said to nieces and nephews as if it were part of a broken record, and “white-washes” are worth capital punishment. 

And the worst part of all is the fact that life happens. There is no stopping the inevitable; each person will grow and move on to greater things in life. Time keeps ticking, stealing moments and throwing them into the ocean of memory– most likely never to surface again. 

So I hold tight to these memories. My mind grips tightly and holds them as though they are the only lifeline above the chasm of certain death. I think of times past and make memories today that I will remember tomorrow. I know I will grow up, I will get taller and my hair will gray, but I will not grow to the age where I do not play.